QUIET

I just need quiet time today. I don't want anyone asking me "what's wrong?" I don't want anyone telling me that "it's all going to be ok." I don't want anyone telling me that I " just need to keep on hoping" or that I "need to keep my Faith."

I just need to be alone. My mouth is tired of talking. My heart is constantly heavy. My smile is not a real smile anymore. The routine of the day to day has finally worn me down into nothing but a fine pulp that's floating in the wind. No one can catch me. I sift right through.

It's all up to me. I decide what the rest of my life is going to be. The judging eyes and ears of my acquaintances are a constant worry. Failure has never been my best side. The loneliness I feel is like walking out on a 500 ft. plank without a lifesaver. Everyone waits to see what I'm going to do.

Enjoying myself is something I haven't done in a while. Having a smile on doesn't mean that I'm happy inside.

My children are what I worry about. They see it, they hear it...and they always follow my lead pretending that everything's ok. The huge elephant in the living room that we all keep dodging instead of dealing with.

Love is so funny. What's happens though, when you can't even force yourself to look forward to seeing someone? It's not anything you wanted to happen. You didn't "choose" to fall out of love. You just fell.

Two totally different people. Two or more broken hearts. Continue...or keep wasting your time by not letting go?